


Signs

by solthesun



Category: Haikyuu!!, ハイパープロジェクション演劇「ハイキュー!!」| Hyper Projection Play "Haikyuu!!" RPF
Genre: Angst, Bokuaka - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Past Cheating, Reconciliation, Self-Indulgent, closures, part 2 of A Million Little Times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:46:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26662405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solthesun/pseuds/solthesun
Summary: Bokuto reminisces what was and what could have been.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Ushijima Wakatoshi/Reader, Ushijima Wakatoshi/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! this is a part 2 long overdue for A Million Little Times! if you haven't read that yet, i suggest you do read it before this, but it's alright if you don't, this one can stand on it's own too. it's pretty long, i got very hooked in writing this one.  
> it's inspired by Taylor's song Exile, and i hope you'll enjoy this as much as the first one!

10 years is a long time. Bokuto Kotaro knows this as he looks at himself in the mirror. He was in his prime at 40 years old. He looked bigger than he was before; more built, taller, _more mature._ Bokuto couldn’t help but feel a smile appear on his lips as he takes in his appearance; hair not in its usual stuck up style, rather it was slicked to the side and combed neatly, golden eyes looking more alive, despite being older. He wore a crisp grey suit with a black button up inside, and a gold neck tie. Albeit older, he still looked like the same old Bokuto, and a part of him wished he still was.

_“Ko, your tie’s too lose, let me fix it for you.”_

Bokuto was quick to turn around, a big smile on his face as he sees the love of his life— _Akaashi Keiji._ The two had been married for close to 3 years now. He and Akaashi were happy with their life; there was never a dull day with Akaashi. They had their fights, ups and downs, and everything, but they always made up. Akaashi was always so level headed with Bokuto, sometimes he felt like he was taking the editor’s patience for granted—but they had always been like that, ever since high school. _Akaashi Keiji was a constant in his life— **but so were you**._

Bokuto wonders where you were, and how you were doing. It’s been 10 long years of not hearing from you, give or take. After your divorce, it felt like you disappeared from the world. There were no traces of you left in the apartment you shared, or in Bokuto’s life— _you were completely gone._ It pains Bokuto’s heart to not hear from you again, but he knew it was his fault why you left, so he respected your decision to stay away from him. But that didn’t stop him from thinking about you from time to time. It took him a long while to get over you, and Akaashi was there with him the entire time.

“There, all better.” He hears the gentle voice of his husband, and Bokuto smiles.

He feels very lucky to have Akaashi in his life. He had taken this for granted for so many years, but now that they were officially— _and legally—_ together, Bokuto couldn’t help but feel like he was the luckiest man in the world. Akaashi was beautiful and handsome at the same time, and even after 10 years, he still looked like he was 24. Bokuto would never get sick of seeing or looking at Akaashi, he would do it every day without stopping— _and he usually did._

“You look perfect, Keiji.” Bokuto says, wrapping his arms around Akaashi’s waist and bringing the raven haired male closer to him.

Akaashi blushes at the action and the statement, but never breaks eye contact. He wraps his arms around Bokuto’s neck, and tiptoes for a kiss. Bokuto loves it when Akaashi’s fingers would comb his hair when they kiss, it was a very simple yet intimate gesture towards the silver haired male. Akaashi soon pulls away and Bokuto groans in dislike at the sudden loss of his soft lips.

“We have to go, Kotaro. We’ll pick up where we left later.” Akaashi says, caressing Bokuto’s face affectionately. The latter leans in to his touch and smiles dreamily at the handsome male in front of him.

“I love you, Keiji.”

“I love you too, Kotaro.”

* * *

After winning the Asian Games, the Japanese National Team had been invited to a banquet, which was usually held every year. Everyone who was _anyone_ in the field of sports was invited. There were sponsors, interviews, and it was basically like an event to show Japan—and the rest of the world—their players, both golden and rising. Bokuto walks hand in hand with Akaashi, the paparazzi doesn’t let them out of their sight the moment they get off their car. Flashes of cameras and different voices asking them how they were and what it was like for 3 years of marriage, Bokuto answers of course, saying it was wonderful to have Akaashi and that he was just happy to have his husband by his side day and night.

_“Bokuto-San! Are you still keeping contact with (y/n)-san?”_

Bokuto was silent at the question, and he feels Akaashi rub his knuckles gently, _a silent source of comfort_. Bokuto just smiles and ignores the question, but the reporter keeps pressing on. Instead of answering, he leads Akaashi inside the building.

The events following after your divorce with Bokuto had been very tough on both him, Akaashi, and you. The media portrayed the player as a ‘ _cheating and lying scum_ ’ who had apparently ‘ _used you for money and fame_ ’, but that wasn’t true. Sometimes they had it the other way around, that you were cheating on Bokuto with someone else, and it was only right for the silver haired male to have Akaashi by then for justice. _But the two of you knew the truth, so you kept your silence._

Both Bokuto and Akaashi were thankful that the gossips and rumors from the tabloids and media died down after a year, and that’s when they decided to get married. The Black Jackals were extremely supportive with Bokuto, knowing that he had feelings for Akaashi ever since, but it wasn’t quite the same with Kuroo—who had called out his best friend for hurting you and lying to you. Kuroo knew something was going on with Bokuto and Akaashi, he and you were close friends too, and he blamed himself partly for keeping the truth from you, but then again, it was never his place to tell you. And you were a smart girl, _you knew all along, but kept quiet._

Once inside the building, the couple was lead to the rooftop where the banquet was held. It was a closed space with dim lighting. Everyone was dressed in their best suits and gowns, partners in their arms. _It was a place to show off_. Though it wasn’t exactly a requirement to bring a date, most people there thought it would be nice to bring one. Bokuto was greeted by his teammates, and they get some champagne and begin talking to one another about how their vacations were. Atsumu went with Hinata, Kageyama, Iwaizumi to Bali, the older of the Miya twins seemed very happy just recalling their visit. Tsukishima had brought his best friend, Yamaguchi, to the banquet, and they spent their time catching up with the rest of their school mates from Karasuno. Kuroo had been in charge of overseeing everything, Kenma by his side, since Bouncing Ball was one of the sponsors for the event.

Bokuto was at peace, enjoying the moment of being with his friends and teammates again, and he notices someone wasn’t there yet.

“Where’s Waka-chan by the way?” he asks, referring to Japan’s canon, Ushijima Wakatoshi.

“He’s not usually late, but he says he’s bringing his wife.” Atsumu replies, getting a glare from Sakusa. _He wasn’t supposed to say that._

Bokuto’s eyes widen in surprise, even Akaashi was surprised.

“Waka-chan’s married?!”

Sakusa sighs and Atsumu gives him a sheepish smile. He takes Sakusa’s glare as a chance to explain—well, he had to now, so he did. Not everyone knew Ushijima got married, since he preferred to keep things from his private life very— _private_.

Bokuto nods as he listens, genuinely happy for his teammate. He wraps an arm around Akaashi’s shoulder and presses a kiss on the temple of his head. He pulls away and smiles at him, Akaashi returns the gesture. The two were stuck in their own world, talking about little things, mostly on where they’d be spending their next vacation once the next season was over. Akaashi says he’d like to go somewhere cold, Switzerland, he says, and Bokuto doesn’t disagree.

“Ah, Wakatoshi’s here.”

Both Bokuto and Akaashi turn their head to the direction, and Bokuto’s heart stops for a moment as he sees who Ushijima had brought with him— _you._ Your arms linked with Ushijima as you walked alongside him, looking ever so beautiful in your black sweetheart lace dress, hugging you in all the right places. It was a perfect match to Ushijima’s all black suit. You two looked _perfect_ together. Bokuto doesn’t miss the glistening of the ring on your finger— _it wasn’t his ring anymore._

“Well, well, it isn’t you to be late, Wakatoshi.” Tendo Satori, Ushijima’s close friend, says as he approaches the group. The chocolatier been in charge of the pastries that night—it was exquisite.

“The traffic was bad, there were a lot of questions downstairs too.” Ushijima responds, his usual tone of nonchalance present.

Tendo laughs and pats his friend’s back. “Well of course there would be a lot of questions. This is the first time you two have gone public.”

Ushijima smiles at the mention of that, his eyes immediately locking with yours. Tendo watches as you two share that moment of affection with each other, before calling your attention.

“(n/n)-chan, how is it that every time I see you, you always look so dashing.” Tendo compliments, and you smile at him. He takes your hand and places a kiss on your knuckles, which you laugh at softly.

“Your time in France has made you quite gentlemanly, Satori.” You joked, and the red haired male laughs loudly.

“Hey, it beats being an asshole, right?”

Ushijima looks around, his eyes meets Bokuto’s golden ones who were wide in surprise. The former knew Bokuto wasn’t informed about your marriage, but he didn’t think he was being disrespectful for bringing you here. You were Ushijima’s wife now, sure Bokuto was his teammate, but his wife will always come first. Still, he does have to let the silver haired male know—or they could at least catch up, so there wouldn’t be any hard feelings. It would be difficult playing in a team where there’s tension, Ushijima didn’t want that. He approaches the table, Sakusa was the first to acknowledge him, next was Atsumu, who stood up and went to you to catch up (and hide the fact that he blurted something out).

“Ushijima-san, how have you been?” Sakusa asks, for formality, and to start a conversation as well.

“I’ve been doing okay. I heard you travelled with Hoshuimi, Sakusa. How did that go?” Ushijima was quick to start a conversation. Even with his stoic and nonchalant aura, he can still feel the tension slowly building.

“The weather was too hot for our liking, but we met up with Hinata and Iwaizumi on our way back.” Sakusa wasn’t much for words either, he didn’t even want to be in this much people, but he had to.

Silence enveloped the table for that moment. Mostly because none of them knew what to say. Sakusa thought this was personal, and he would have stood up to leave if it wasn’t for the fact that you had approached the table with Atsumu.

“I see we’re seated here.” You say, your eyes on the name cards on the table, unaware of who was on the able with you, and then you look up.

Your eyes meet gold for the first time in 10 years. Your heart clenched, but it didn’t hurt anymore. It was mostly because this took you by surprise. You gave him a smile, before sitting beside your husband. Atsumu makes small talk with you and Ushijima, Sakusa joining a conversation with Bokuto and Akaashi. It was enough to say that the tension was thick, and it was awkward to sit there— _and you can never be more thankful for Hinata Shoyo to arrive._

“(y/n)-san! You’re here! Wow you look great!” Hinata says as he spots you, you stand from your seat and embraced him, he does the same.

“You look amazing too, Shoyo. How was Bali?”

Hinata proceeds to tell you how it was when he sits beside you, Kageyama following suit. They were beginning to settle down since the program was about to start. You engage in conversations with everyone, Ushijima picking up the tension in your posture when you meet eyes with Akaashi and Bokuto, and your husband was quick to hold your hand to give you some comfort.


	2. Chapter 2

The breeze of the air on the rooftop deck was comforting, albeit it being cold. Inside it was stuffy, and while everyone else was talking and catching up with each other, you preferred to have your little moment of silence. Ushijima respected it when you asked for your time alone, you rarely did so, and he had offered to get you a glass of wine. You stood there alone, staring at the blinking lights of Tokyo from below. It was another busy night, and you were thankful to have something to get your mind off the things you had to do. Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice someone stand beside you.

“It’s a great weather tonight.”

Deep down you already knew who owned that voice, and you didn’t want to be wrong. This conversation was long overdue. Looking to your left, you were obviously correct to see the Black Jackal’s outside hitter, _your ex-husband_ , Bokuto Kotaro. Up close, you could see how he looked almost the same, except for the little crinkle his eyes had when he smiled. You couldn’t help but feel awkward for a while, looking back at the lights and nodding your head.

“It sure is.”

Silence enveloped the two of you. You could hear chattering around you, almost listening to one of them just so you can ignore the fact that you didn’t actually know what to say. 10 years is a long time, and though you’ve practiced the little conversation in your head, it was just so different when it was in person. Your hands were beginning to feel a little clammy—he knows this, because he offers you his handkerchief.

“Here.”

You look at his outstretched hand, and then at him. You give him a grateful smile before turning it down.

“It’s alright. I keep a pack of tissues with me, don’t worry.” You say, taking out the small pack of tissues and slightly waving it, before wiping your hands with them.

“Your hands always get clammy when you’re nervous.” Bokuto says, chuckling to himself as he places his handkerchief back to his pocket.

“Mhm, and you always cover your awkwardness up with asking about the weather.” You respond.

There was silence again, before you two looked at each other and started laughing softly. When your laughter died down, you smiled at the distance—the awkward feeling slowly disappearing. Bokuto’s eyes were on you the whole time, watching as the wind slowly brushed your hair, and the twinkle your eyes held were back. It gave a good clench to his chest, it made him smile. You catch this, and you turn to look at him.

“You’re smiling like a dreamy high school boy, Bo.”

Your voice was music to his ears. It felt nostalgic to hear that nickname from you again, seeing as that was the first nickname you’ve given him back in high school. He probably did look like a dreamy high school boy, but it didn’t matter— _he was happy he got to talk with his love._

“Do I now?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows, and you laugh at him before nodding your head.

This felt familiar. It felt so much like home. Being able to talk to Bokuto was like coming back home from a long trip. It was refreshing, warm, nostalgic—but it didn’t feel enough. Looking at his golden eyes didn’t feel as refreshing as it did before. Seeing his smile didn’t send butterflies fluttering in your stomach. Hearing him say your name didn’t feel as good as it did before. All of these felt like fleeting feelings from distant memories—and they were.

You kept quiet after a little while, basking in the soft jazz music that was playing inside.

“(y/n), I’m sorry.” Bokuto says after a long moment of silence.

You knew he’d apologize, and like always, you didn’t know what you would say. Were you going to say it’s okay? Brush it off and pretend you were good friends now? You knew deep down it still hurt. There were nights when you did question everything about you two. The incident made you wary of Ushijima as well, but your husband had made sure to tell you he wouldn’t do that same thing. Because of what Bokuto and Akaashi did, you built your walls higher.

You smile to yourself bitterly. If you could count the amount of times Bokuto had apologized, it would have probably reached a hundred or more. But the silver haired male knew that no amount of apologies could ever take away the pain you felt. He was in pain too, but he knew you suffered more. He had Akaashi in those days and nights you were gone, but you only had yourself.

Feeling your reluctance to respond, Bokuto continues, “You don’t have to answer. You don’t have to forgive me either. I just want to say sorry. I really, _really_ , am sorry, (y/n).”

You hear the way his voice wavers, and he sniffles. Bokuto was always this emotional, especially when he apologizes to you—or to anyone. You remembered when you’d fight, and he’d apologize first—the way the golden color in his eyes would look like it melted, and the red on the tip of his nose, the way his tears would pool in his beautiful orbs before they would fall. You turn to look at him, and it’s the same scene you had pictured many, _many_ times.

It felt sad that you didn’t reach out to wipe away his tears like you used to. Reality had hit him some years ago, that there was no way your fingers would caress his face, and cup them in your soft palms. You wouldn’t look at him with the same teary eyes, and that gentle smile—those belonged to someone else now, and it hurt to have that fear of his come true.

“I was an asshole for lying to you, (y/n). But I never _ever_ used you. I know you’ve read all those tabloids, but those are just a bunch of lies. They’re all just bullshit—“

Bokuto was cut off when he felt warmth on top of his hand that was clutching the rails. He looked at you, and you had that same gentle smile. You didn’t say anything, but he knew it meant well. The way your thumb slowly stroked his hand calmed him. He felt himself wanting to cry more.

“I was an asshole… I was so stupid… I didn’t want you to leave, (y/n). I swear I didn’t do that to make you leave me…” Bokuto whispers, voice breaking when the tears fell.

“I know, Bo. But I felt it. With Akaashi it was just… _different._ ” You said, and this time he looks at you.

Bokuto sees the way you looked straight, avoiding eye contact. _You were about to cry._ He waits for you to continue, and you did.

“Ever since in high school, I see the way your stares would linger. When we were in college, Akaashi knew where you were most of the time, and I think that was because I was too busy to see your schedule. I recognize the way you look at him. I know how your heart skips a beat when he calls you. You may not notice it, Bo, but I noticed it all.” You continued, feeling warm tears in your eyes.

“Even when we were married, Akaashi was always there. At first, I thought it was because he was your best friend, but it turns out it was so much more than that.” You sniffled, smiling bitterly. “I’ve always had a feeling, and I’ve always trusted my gut. And when I found out, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders, but my heart was so, _so_ heavy, Bo.”

You basked in another moment of silence. It felt so much lighter to say all that in front of him. It felt like you could breathe easily now. You took a deep breath before finishing,

“I don’t blame you for falling in love with Akaashi. And in all honesty, he could take better care of you than I ever could have.”

The two of you look at each other, and Bokuto feels his heart tear at the sight of you crying again. You were so beautiful, and he couldn’t help but reach out and wipe your tears. You smiled as you leaned in to his touch—he had always been so warm.

“I’m sorry, (y/n)…”

His eyes search yours for any sign of hatred, but he doesn’t find any. He doesn’t find anger. You don’t beat him up like you would in his dreams—you didn’t even kick him in the nuts. Instead, your eyes held so much warmth and love.

_“I forgive you, Kotaro.”_

* * *

Ushijima watches you from the entrance of the ballroom. He was carrying the glasses of wine he got for the two of you, and he had been standing there for a while. Beside him was Akaashi, hands behind his back as he looked at you and Bokuto. The two didn’t particularly mind what was happening, in fact, it made them both happy that you and Bokuto were finally getting the closure you needed.

“I was surprised when I heard.” Akaashi says, not taking his eyes away from the two of you.

“No one was really expecting anything that had happened.” Ushijima answered shortly. “She does look different when she’s with Bokuto.”

Akaashi hums as a response. He’s felt the guilt eating him away for the past years, and he felt that he should apologize tonight. It terrified him that your friendship would be over—who was he kidding, of course it was over the moment you found out about him and Bokuto. But there you were, laughing and catching up with Bokuto like it was the most natural thing to do. It brought a smile to his lips.

“She’s glowing when she’s with you though, Ushijima-san.” Akaashi breaks the silence, Ushijima looks at him, then looks back at you.

“She does, doesn’t she?”

“Yes.”

“Bokuto looks different with you, too. He looks more… _Bokuto_.”

Akaashi chuckles at the taller man’s choice of words. How else can they describe Bokuto? Ushijima smiles at that, and he sees your eyes meet his. He feels like he’s fallen in love all over again. You approach him, Bokuto following behind you with a grin on his face. Ushijima just stares at you, studying your features as you embraced Akaashi, the latter seemed to have teared up. You pulled away and held his hand, squeezing gently as you said,

“Take good care of yourself and of Bokuto, okay?”

Akaashi nods as he squeezes your hand gently, smiling at you as you wiped his tears. Ushijima’s attention turns to Bokuto, and the golden eyed man gave him a small—somehow awkward—smile.

“I owe you an apology for not letting you know, Bokuto.” Ushijima breaks the silence first.

Bokuto looked genuinely surprised, before he laughs that boisterous laughter of his, patting Ushijima’s shoulder.

“You don’t have to apologize, Waka-chan! You got jackpot when you chose her.” Bokuto says, grinning at the taller male. “Make sure you don’t hurt her.”

Ushijima chuckles and shakes his head before giving Bokuto a slight smile.

“I won’t.”

A familiar song plays in the background, and Akaashi’s eyes meet Bokuto’s. As if reading the ex-setter’s mind, Bokuto excuses the two of them, and whisks his husband away to share a dance with him. You sighed, feeling lighter as you watched them dance happily. They must have felt lighter too. You looked up at Ushijima who had been staring at you, and you laughed softly.

“Wakatoshi, you can say my name, you know?” You say.

“I know, but you were deep in thought.”

You smiled. “Is that for me?” You asked, pointing at the glass of wine, and he smiles softly as he hands it over to you.

“You don’t want to dance?” He asks, clearing his throat a bit.

You look at him incredulously, and you see the slightest hint of red on his cheeks.

“Are you asking me to dance, Ushijima Wakatoshi?” You faked a look of surprise and awe.

“Only if you want to, Ushijima (Y/n).”

You grin at him as you place your glasses on the table, leading him to the dance floor. You wrap his arms around your waist, and you wrap your arms around his neck. You look at his green eyes— _now this feels so much like home._

“Promise you won’t leave me.”

He sees concern in your eyes, and he plants a kiss on your forehead to appease your worries.

_“Don’t worry, the last name suits you. I think I’m going to let you keep it forever.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!! i hope you guys enjoyed this! i'm going to work on a third and last part (i think).

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i'm separating this into 2 parts so it doesn't seem that long hihi. kudos and comments are much appreciated!!


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